Would You Want Heaven without God there?

I know I should just say this things to mature Christians. I just want to ask you something.

Do you love God?

I wonder, if God were not in heaven and were in hell, means torturing place, would you still want to go to Heaven? or are you brave enough to follow Him to the torturing place?

If the answer is no, ( I still want to go to heaven and i am not brave enough to follow Him to the death ), are you even sure that you love God? isn’t it a part of loving yourself?

As whom do you see your God?

It is God’s Dream

Do you know, what is the uttermost desire of God?

He created everything to provide man’s need. He created the light, water from water, plants, animals, stars and the commander of the sky. what for? or, For who?

I believe that this universe is an Antrocentrical universe. everything was made to make sure man living a beautiful life ( what I mean with this life is the eternal one before we all sin).That was what God wanted the most and suddenly we fell and sin.

The time where God needed to cast Adam and Eve away, was the time that A Sacrifice decided. God gave up His one and only Son to take our place, in death. He loves men more than you can ever believe or imagine. His love? indescribable and way too big to measure.

The uttermost desire of God is all men be saved from eternal fire and death. He even came as a man being to pay our debts off.

This days, we, as churches of Christ, need to understand the Desire of God’s heart. This “all men be saved” is not talking about you though. YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED. But, there are a lot of people out there who hasn’t. These days, God wants to show off His glory, not only to the church but through the church.

I am not talking about A denomination or B. I am talking about the body of the Christ, as He is the head. I never understand how a church can hate another church. it is like right hand hates left hand. that would be funny. Right hand has its purpose, so does left hand. it is not the same, for they are different, but it sure to bring benefit for the body (especially the head). it is funny how a lot of churches are in unhealthy competition about their lambs, it is just so wrong!

One church thinks they are better than the other. YOU ARROGANT! You are not supposed to be able to do anything outside the head, so does the other church. What makes you think you are better than another church? God really wants us churches to be as one. why? because He wants to show off His Glory so that the world believes and be saved. but it only happen when the Churches are under control of God, means HAVE THE SAME VISIONS : God’s Vision.

Now, let’s see what God is preparing to do.

God is now preparing a big crowd of His people. He wants us to do signs and wonders. all of us. It is going to be a big revival, and the revival agents are : Faceless generation. there will be too many name to mention in the news, so they will be called faceless and nameless generation. don’t worry, you won’t have time to be too proud, all of your brothers and sisters will do the miracle like you do. there will be too many miracles happen that the whole news are about signs and wonders that God do through that Faceless Generation.

That is cool, right? But do you know what it takes to be a faceless and nameless generation, the Generation God is pleased with, the Generation that God is walking with, the Generation that walks with God, His signs and wonders?

all that it takes is your identity. let them go. let you walk as Christ and as not as yourself (Jessica for example). One time Peter healed a paralysed man, and what did he said ? ” In the name of Jesus Christ from Nazaret, ” rather than ” I, Peter, will heal you and you will remember that my name is Peter and give me credit for me, my ministry group or even my church”. IT IS WHAT IT TAKES. let go of who you are. let go of your desire to be known as a man of God. let them go. who humble himself will be lifted high by God Himself, yet who is proud will be let down.

Your church is your identity. you can never think that God only works through you and your churches. no! He is working through everybody, even someone you might not want to meet. let go of your denomination, let them go and walk only for Jesus, not for your church, not for your organization, but for your King. That what it takes. means go lesser and God be made more in us.

let go that separation. Let go of differences conflicts. let go. let us, churches, walk as one, fulfilling God’s dreams in every place and portion He gives us. And you will see waves of God’s glory filling everyone of you, so that you do miraculous things, signs and wonders and let people be saved.

With respect and love

Jessica Irene Mesak Pello

Depression Attack!

Hi! let me introduce myself again. I’m Jessica, A college student, majoring in Biology for undergraduate program. I am actually one of the K-pop and K-Idol fans. And as we know, a tragedy has happened. By what I mean a tragedy, is yes, one of them committed suicide.

I am to be honest not really a fan of his, but one thing that hurts me the most is that because he died committing suicide and the fact that the reason was depression. I know, depression is not easy to handle (I am suffering from Depression too), but it is so sad that suicidal people leave the best gift we can ever get : chances, changes, and life itself.

Since I also suffer from depression, I know how it feels like when you are really depressed, it is so bad and hurting that I see my life is not worth living anymore. but you guys know that it is wrong, Right? you know that every life matters, that every life is a very gift, that life is worth living. at least to try again day after day of failure, so that we can end up being a champion.

To add information about me, I am a Christian, and as we know, the God we know is a loving God. that He has purposes for everybody. for you and for me. But in time of depression, that promises and purposes seem to fail because we fail. we fail to believe, we fail to accept, we fail. But the fact is that GOD DOESN’T FAIL.

I actually want to be a psychologist when I was little, I up until now, I still want to be one. I want to help people, especially ones that suffer like I do. But then a question came into my mind. What if, when I am counselling someone suffer from depression but is an Atheist, and they ask me why we even need to suffer this way. I am afraid I can’t tell why. the only reason for me to hold on is to please God. I don’t know what people have to hold on to. I am holding on to the right Anchor, the Lord Himself.

I was wondering why are we disciplined to do this and that from the Bible, why should we suffer. and the only answer I get is because we are having hope of eternal life, which means we are being made ready to face the eternal life with some small training in the world itself.

But, is suffering the one God wants us to experience? He loves us! He does not let us suffer unless there is something worth even more than the suffering we go through.

To be honest, I don’t know where I lead this article to. I am just writing what’s in my mind. I really want to help people with depression, but how? I don’t know. I know I am called for that, but how? that is the missing step to reach my purpose. But I believe, He doesn’t fail. He won’t start failing right now. So I will just believe.

when I feel like I need to write

There are times when i suddenly feel the urge to write. Most of the time I don’t really know what to write the first time I feel like writting. but i keep writing afterall.

I get sick pretty often, that I can’t manage my responsibility well. once I am asked why I easily get sick. At first, I am always angry if asked about it, i thought, “how should I know why?! do you think I want to fall sick?!”. But today was different. someone asked my why I am sick, but beside asking, she told me to ask Holy Spirit about how to get healed.

I was being honest with Holy Spirit that I don’t expect to be healed afterall. I sometimes use me being sick as a reason to take some rest because it is hard for me to say that I want to take a rest, since I think my responsibilities are all urgent and important. but I asked Him anyway. I did not expect that He will answer quickly. I was taking a bath and singing when suddenly He talked to me about the way I can be healed. He said that I need to finished all the unfinished burden that I’ve been keeping these days. So, I started forgiving people, started reorganizing, started working, and most important, I started to learn to love myself, to forgive myself, to recieve me as He recieved me the way I am and lastly, to let my mother go ( if you read my previous post, you’ll know that both of my parents have passed away, and my mother’s death affect me a lot ). So, know I am whole, and there are no unfinished burden anymore. i surrendered it all to Him. and wala! here I am, much better, and writting.

Now, I just want to remind you to be as honest as possible with Him. even if you are not right, just at least be honest. He’ll lead you to where He is. 🙂



Dan, aku mencurahkan isi hatiku kepada Tuhan

I really doubt that anyone will ever see this post, so I just write without anydoubt 

Hello again, Father
Father, You know that I am not ok nowadays. Father, Your Words say that You are good, and I believe that. 
Your Words says that I am paid off and now I am Yours, I believe
You says that You are not leaving me alone, and I also believe

Father, I know that You can see the bottom of my heart
my heart's desire, You observe
You know that I want You more than I want gold or silver even diamonds
I am being honest, I don't know how to be satisfied with You
But, You know that I want to.

Father, You said that You are my Father
You said, that You are the Helper for the orphan
I trust You.

when I ask You: 
Can You please, fight for me when I can't fight? You say YES
Can You please carry me on when I can't run to You?  You say YES
because You say, blessed be the one who believes even when he doesnt see. 

Father, I believe that I am always Yours
that my life is in the palm of Your hands
that You are in control
that You work to cause me good
that You love me
that You don't leave me
that You will always be here for me
that You are my part, and my portion
that You are my best friend, my parents, my everything
that no matter what, You are not giving up on me

Jesus, I trust You. I believe You won't leave me disappointed.

In Time of Need

well, i don’t actually know what I am going to write here. I just want to write.

It has been one and a half year my mother passed away. I think i have not moved on yet. I still dream about her frequently. the dreams upset me everytime. hmm. I realize that after I become an orphan, i started wondering about whom I belong to. I really think that I belong to no one, that no one even want me or need me. That is the state of me these days. If I say that I am ok, I’d be lying of course.

Today, I would not be saying that I am happy, that I am not sad. NO! it will be the biggest lie ever, afterall. But tonight, I am going to confess that I am belong to Jesus! I can always stay in His presence, because this is where I belong to. I don’t say this because I can feel it, I say this because I believe that He has paid me off on the cross 2000 years ago. I am saying this, I am His, even when I can’t feel Him. I believe that He has redeemed me and has made me His. I believe that He loves me and He wants me. yes, He does want and love me. He promised me to not leaving me alone even if I walk in the deepest water. He promised me and He is faithful in keeping His promises. I believe in You, Lord. I believe.

the ground begun to shake, the stone was rolled away. His perfect love can not be overcome. SEE! He is alive! He is risen! He is my King, my Saviour, my Redeemer, my Light, and my Glory!



There is HOPE!

hello.. 🙂 after some break updating the site, i’ll start with some opening Question

  1. Do you know what is Sin?
  2. Do we sin? Do we not sin?
  3. What should sinners get?
  4. Do you believe in the life after life?
  5. Do you believe in heaven and hell?

ok, enough for the opening 🙂 i’m sure you knew already all the answer of these questions. there is one more, only one more question for you. this will be the topic i am going to share.

“Do You Know That There is a Way to Save Your Life and My Life?”

I don’t know about you, but I sin. and I believe in life after life. i believe in heaven and hell. i believe in God that created Heaven and Earth. i know that if I sin, the Just shall punish me. that means, i should go to Hell after I die. i should bear the fault I made, i should be responsible of everything I made, no other choice for me. but there is a surprising fact (even for me too), that the Just, is also Love. God is Love. ( i know this is a but hard to understand and a bit hard to be trusted, seeing the broken world, with many broken-hearted, and uncaring, and lonely, and selfish people — also selfish “christians”) but, that is the truth. GOD. IS. LOVE.

God loves what (and whom) He created. He even chose carefully the look, the body shape, the shape of the nose and eyes and lips before He created us. and you know what? He even made us by His OWN HANDS! ( Psalm 139 : 13) How beautiful are we in His sight How He sees the best part of our life that we can not see. i once imagined that God saw the sinful us and said to Himself : “ah, That’s My kids! they are so dirty with mud… Hmm, let’s see if there is a way to clean them.” and then, maybe He said : “they are My children. even if they are dirty, and they hate Me, THEY ARE STILL WORTH FIGHTING FOR”  (remember, the preceding sentence, I can only imagined how He loves us. in fact, what He says when He sees us must be more romantic and sweet. more than i could ever think. ) so, even before we sin, He prepared a way to save both you and me. through Jesus Christ.

the Spirit of the Almighty was put inside a human being, called Christ. Through the body of Jesus Christ, God begun to show the love and the power and all the Divine things on the Earth ( read the Gospel ), but as the peak of everything, Jesus died and rose for us to pay the Debt (read: sin ) that we can not pay so that we and our Creator could be reconciled. He has never wanted us to go to hell. no! Hell was not created for people. He wants us to live an eternal life with Him. why? because He loves us

can you now understand how He loves us? (but His love is not a weak love. His loves TEACHES, CORRECTS, TRAINS. so, don’t be disappointed when God starts to teach, and corrects you 🙂 )

He gave us His own life. He gave up everything He had, so that He might gain our love. (what could be more romantic than this? XD ) He gave up everything to guarantee our eternal life. if He thinks about our eternal life, why wouldn’t He think of our life now? THERE IS A WAY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

i don’t know what you feel about life these days. maybe some of you want to end this life, maybe now some feel so desperate and feel like your world is drowning. do not worry, you got Me, says the Lord. He wants to change your life, He wants to restore and renew your strength, He wants to touch your heart and make you feel His love! just because He loves you.

i suggest you, everyone who read this. trust this. even if you think I’m not trust-worthy, at least, see the Scripture. see the Gospel. now, please. come to God, repent and surrender. if you don’t know what to say, you can follow me :

” My Everlasting Father, I come before You now, confessing that I am a sinner, and asking for forgiveness. Jesus, I open my heart and I invite You to come and be my personal King and Savior. I confess with my mouth, and believe with all my heart that You died for me on the cross, and payed off my sins. I also believe You rose from the death and preparing the place for me in Heaven, my eternal Home. I believe that my name is now written in the Book of Life. Thank You, Jesus. You may start moving and changing my life. I receive Your forgiveness, and eternal Life. in the name of Jesus I pray, Amen “

Congratulation! :3 I believe though i don’t see, that God starts moving in your life. He is not working in hurry, nor late. He knows for sure the right timing. so trust Him..

if there is anything you want to ask, please don’t hesitate to contact me


Jesus Blesses you, and He loves you


Today, I got a verse in malachi 3:1-4
1 “see, I will send My messenger who will prepare the way before Me. Then suddenly thr Lord you are seeking will come to His temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come,” says the Lord Almighty
2But who can endure the day of His coming? Who can stand when he appears? For He weill be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap.
3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: He will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness
4 and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the LORD, as in days gone by, as in former years.

For me, it is a promise. A covenant. But i can see the condition’s applied. I am glad reading that the offerings of each of us will be made acceptable, but seeing the verses before, we see that we are gonna go through purifying and refining fire, means, we are going to be purified and refined. All bads, all bad habits, all sins, all things that don’t please God will be cut off! Well, it’s also a good thing, since it enable us to please God more, but it hurts.

Can you imagine when a handful of soil that contains gold being purified? It goes through water and fire if i am not mistaken. And the road will never be easy for us to be pure. But again, God promises that He will give us strength as in phillipians 4:13
“I can do everything through Him Who gives me strength”

I expect you all get ready. When you say to God that you want to please Him, get ready for processes, purifyings, refinings. It will never be easy, but it is bearable in God. So i encourage you, my sisters and brothers in Christ, dont ever be discourage when you are be taught, like in hebrew 12: 5-6
5 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that adresses you as sons:
    “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you,
6 because the Lored disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son”
But, have the right respond of the heart. “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts”(hebrew 4:7b)

Be happy through the processes because you know, that your name is written in heaven, and you are pleasing Him more~ 😀

Have a nice day,
With Love


Posted from WordPress for Android

When I am down

When I am down
And oh, my soul’s so weary
When troubles come,
And my heart burdened be
Then, i am still and wait here
In the silence, until You come, and sit a while with me

You raise me up so i can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when i am on Your shoulders
You raise me upto be more than i can be

I was planning to read the Bible when suddenly i feel like i am dry and empty and i know i need to recall His goodness so i started writting

Today, I found that i love others even more, have mercy even more, but have no plans how should I introduce God.

These days, some people said that my life brings blessings and brings the knowledge about God to them, and i started to be satisfied with my condition now. I actually didnt read Bible for two days, didnt spend my time listening to what He wants to say, didnt seek Him, didnt do the activities that i need to do the most. And these days too, i feel like i cant see the changes of people that God has trusted me to watch over. And it overwhelmes me.

But again, He reminds me that He is faithfull. He will never give up on everyperson, He will never give up chasing after every one of you. Just like He has chased me, He has done anything needed to get me and to get my affection, He’ll do the same to you.

Maybe some of you feel like your christianity has just stucked, you didnt get to know God better, you still do the things we know God dislikes, we still seek for satisfying things beside God, we still have more part than God has. I have experienced that, even some of my life’s period, i cried EVERYNIGHT because i want to know God, but still nothing changed, until sometimes, i know it’s God’s time.

We can chase Him as hard as we could, but only Him can allow us know and find Him. It’s not because what we did, we have done, we are doing, or we will do, we find God. But because of His mercy. So please, seek Him and ask for mercy. Seek Him with thirst and hunger of His presence. I found out, that God can freely work in you when you are thirsty and hungry of Him.
You are not in thirst and hunger of Him? Ask Him to make you thirst and hunger of Him! We, ourself, cannot make ourselves hungry of Him, we cannot trust Him without His grace, we cannot love Him without His grace. So ask! Ask that God makes you hungry and thirst lf Him. And i pray, tha everyone that read this, will find God, sooner or later just like God pleased to do.

But out of this, please, learn to seek Him with all of your heart, and be satisfied in Him.


Posted from WordPress for Android

Trust Me?

my mother passed away, meeting God, on 20th December 2014. i was shock, i was sad. it was hard, because my father has passed away too, so she was my only parent left and now i need to let her go back to the Creator. today, i chose a wrong decision, i read back my messages with my mother back then, about a month before she passed away, and i began to cry.

i promised God, when i miss my mom i will run to HIM, and that’s what i did back then crying. i cried, asking Him to show Himself to me and treat me like my mother did. again and again i asked but no answer, and i started realizing, it wasn’t something i should do!

i closed my eyes and began to pray. “Lord, Jesus,,” i said it out loud ” I TRUST YOU. i do understand that You decided, You chose to do good things in my life, or at least, You are able to change things into good things for the glory of Your name” so i stopped crying and began to pray, asking for love and His presence to come down and touch me.

sometimes, many things are happening in our life, and those things don’t seem to be good ones, and then, we start questioning God’s faithfulness, no? I am not ashamed to say that i might have gone through bad things, bad situations, that was killing me. but don’t you know, that our God specializes in turning bad things into good things, curses into blessings, sadness into joy, tears into laughter for one main purpose : to let people out there know Jesus.

Don’t you think, our life as a Christian, or Christians (according to the bible, Christian means Jesus’ disciples) is a “preview” of heaven? don’t you think that we shall reflect God’s character and God’s love in our life? or do you think that it is pastor’s duty? i understand that a lot of difficulties happened, happening, and are gonna happen in my life. but i don’t actually angry about this. let’s see in the bible that usually people meet God in difficult situations.besides, Hebrew 12:6 says that God teaches and processes the ones He loves, at least here is another prove that God loves me so much haha. i realize even more that we don’t need anything or anyone beside Him

let me have another question, which one will you choose :
1. having a totally beautiful and an everything-is-gonna-be-OK life without Christ
2. having a really hard and full-of-process life but having Christ
after processes I’ve been through, i realize that living in heaven without Christ is the worst life! i realize, doesn’t matter how nice and how OK your life is, as long as you don’t have Christ, YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT OK!

the thing i wanna say here actually, i learn that Christ can be trusted, He is dependable, He is responsible for things He do and things that are let happened in our life. He’s the author, and He’ll finish it. and learn to be thankful because YOU HAVE CHRIST. well, having Christ and His sacrifice on the cross is the thing we should be thankful the most. so, doesn’t matter how hard your life is, you can still be thankful because at least you have Christ~

with God’s love,